In early 2011 I found out I was pregnant. About a week later, I was submitted to hospital due to a suspected stroke, but when no definite finding I was released from the hospital. After having undergone an amniocentesis, I developed a severe uterine infection. I was hospitalized in an effort to overcome the infection. About two weeks later, I was called in to the senior doctor’s office, and was told that the baby’s condition was severe, and even posed a real danger to my life. The recommendation was unequivocal: terminate the pregnancy.
At the hospital I did not find any emotional support for the great distress I found myself in, nor at my health fund. Broken and bleeding – mentally and physically – I sat on a private psychologist’s couch about a week after my loss. With her wonderful help, an especially through writing, I repaired my soul, and learned to see and be thankful for the many gifts I received through this loss. The treatment focused on the experience of loss, with its various aspects such as feelings of guilt and depression, difficulties returning to routine life and marriage/relationship, disappointment and self-hatred, nightmares and dealing with family members and close acquaintances who were unable to accept or deal with the power of the loss.
Given my difficulty in finding a supportive ear that specialized in providing counseling and assistance to my distress, I realized the importance of establishing a central body that would coordinate professionals and accumulated information about this field, train medical professionals to deal with similar cases, encourage personal and public discourse about pregnancy loss, and advance relevant research.
Finally, on my birthday a year later, I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t think I would be a mother again. The pregnancy was accompanied by a lot of anxiety and restrained hope. Nine months later, in an amazing and moving birth, my arms were filled with an incredibly sweet and mischievous baby who joined my pair of youngsters that were already at home.
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