We did a lot of tests, and we realized at a certain point that the pregnancy had to be terminated. It was our second pregnancy. I was 22 weeks pregnant. The time simply elapsed, and we just could not make a decision. It was an impossible decision. We went to lots of consultations, and eventually realized this was our only option. We were full of guilt about it. I felt afraid to talk about it, because deciding on your child’s life is an impossible situation. I feel scared that nothing will make up for this loss and I hope that one day it will be just another thing that happened to me once.
For me, the Candles of Hope workshop was a weekly anchor of sharing, an opportunity to remember the pain in the company of other women who know the most painful point in it, a place to really confront and acknowledge our pain, and a place of growing compassion. The group moderators managed to create, through the screens (it was an online support group), a real sense of closeness.